If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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