just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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