Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
