i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
