I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do vagina's smell?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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