Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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