Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
