Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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