I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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