I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
