Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
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I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
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Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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