Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize