he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
