Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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