How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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