it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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