haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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