Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
