It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She told me I should be a condom model.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
