Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
