is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
