South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
