Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
