I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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