One girl and one boy is just not enough.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
