how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
