nut hugger
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
