oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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