I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize