You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's never too late to be topless.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
dude. I can hear the air.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
