He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
