He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
