i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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