Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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