Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
