the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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