we're blogging at a bar
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
