i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
