she was so not down for the gang bang
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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