Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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