Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
