chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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