no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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