You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
