Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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