Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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