He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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