the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
