me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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