Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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