Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
