It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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