the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
