She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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