Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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