I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
