We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
