So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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