So drunk its hurt
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
