i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize